Thursday, November 13, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
mondays are a pain in the butt
well,
yesterday the bears lost to the titans.... steelers lost to the colts.... panthers beat the raiders... and some teams not worth mentioning undoubtedly lost to other teams not worth mentioning. so, a 33% success rate isn't very good. we need to work on that next week. anyway, today i'm doing some yard work with the assistance from my loving wife. getting the yard picked up and looking good just before we move in FEB. fun, fun... i might write something a little later if i get in a mood to do so, if not, then you'll have to wait another month to find out what's happening.
yesterday the bears lost to the titans.... steelers lost to the colts.... panthers beat the raiders... and some teams not worth mentioning undoubtedly lost to other teams not worth mentioning. so, a 33% success rate isn't very good. we need to work on that next week. anyway, today i'm doing some yard work with the assistance from my loving wife. getting the yard picked up and looking good just before we move in FEB. fun, fun... i might write something a little later if i get in a mood to do so, if not, then you'll have to wait another month to find out what's happening.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
QUICKIE
Eddie wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot
girl in his office...
But she was dating someone else.
One day Eddie got so frustrated that he went to her and said,
'I'll give you $100 if you let me have sex with you...
'The girl looked at him, and then said, 'NO!'
Eddie said,
'I'll be real fast. I'll throw the money on the floor,
You bend down and I'll finish by the time you've picked it up.'
She thought for a moment and said that she would consult with her
boyfriend...
So she called him and explained the situation.
Her boyfriend says,
'Ask him for $200, and pick up the money really fast.
He won't even be able to get his pants down.'
She agreed and accepts the proposal.
Over half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is still waiting for his
girlfriend's call.
Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks what happened...?
Still breathing hard, she managed to reply,
'The bastard had all quarters!'
Management lesson:
Always consider a business proposition in its entirety before agreeing
to it and getting screwed.
girl in his office...
But she was dating someone else.
One day Eddie got so frustrated that he went to her and said,
'I'll give you $100 if you let me have sex with you...
'The girl looked at him, and then said, 'NO!'
Eddie said,
'I'll be real fast. I'll throw the money on the floor,
You bend down and I'll finish by the time you've picked it up.'
She thought for a moment and said that she would consult with her
boyfriend...
So she called him and explained the situation.
Her boyfriend says,
'Ask him for $200, and pick up the money really fast.
He won't even be able to get his pants down.'
She agreed and accepts the proposal.
Over half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is still waiting for his
girlfriend's call.
Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks what happened...?
Still breathing hard, she managed to reply,
'The bastard had all quarters!'
Management lesson:
Always consider a business proposition in its entirety before agreeing
to it and getting screwed.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Guts and Balls
The medical distinction between Guts and Balls We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below...
Guts - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'
Balls - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: 'You're next.'
I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.
Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome since both ultimately result in death.
Guts - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'
Balls - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: 'You're next.'
I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.
Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome since both ultimately result in death.
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